NOTE: This is a journal chronicling my journey from the best times of my to life to the worst, and the struggle to regain control. It details cause and effect issues and the levels of support I, personnaly, had available to me and that I utilized in my climb back from the bottom. It is not a lesson. It is a story. And it is my inspiration.
Three-three years. Three decades. How does one become an alcoholic? If that was an easy answer, then we would, as a society, have far fewer. I can blame it on anything; previous family history, the traumatic death of a family member or close friends, sudden loss of riches. You name it, it can be used as an excuse. I became an alcoholic for a simple reason: I didn't have one.
I had my first drink at age 15. Sounds normal. Doesn't everybody? At 15, I was indestructible, as were my friends. High school, then enlistment in the United States Air Force and a trip to Germany for 2 years. I was without family for the first time, so Daddy's not checking on me. But I had yet to learn responsibility. Eventually, the military let me know, in their soothing, comforting terms, that I now had responsibility. That would be right after my first alcohol-related incident. A fellow troop insulted my German girlfriend, so I broke his arm. Pops would be proud.
Over the next few years, there were several near-misses, but thankfully, I did not hurt anyone else, only some property damage issues. Those close calls only delayed the inevitable. At 23, I got married. Now, everything was perfect. Three boys, a beautiful and loving wife. Hell, I could have written a Country and Western song about life (couldn't sing it, of course). I did some great work for the military in Southern California and Texas, then continued my career in Panama. Uh-oh. Unseen problems coming.
Looking back, Panama provided the first warning signs,and one of the most dangerous: Denial. Hiding booze. Thinking my wife didn't know. I was smarter than anybody else, wasn't I? But I still played it off as if nothing was wrong. Hell, I wouldn't know anything was wrong until years later. Coached my sons in Little League. Performed my military responsibilities flawlessly. Awards, citations, pats-on-the-back. Living the good life, completely ignorant of the future. Then, selection to the Non-Commissioned Officers Academy in Austin. First time I had ever been away from my wife and sons, for any extended length of time, ever.
Can't put my finger on it, but it just maifested itself. As soon as I settled in at Austin, my thoughts turned to my wife, and they were not pretty thoughts. She was cheating. She did not love me anynmore. She could do better, so why did she settle for me? As I reminiscence about those dark early days, I try to pinpoint those times and what prompted those thoughts. Know what I found? Nothing. Zero. No reason whatsoever, but there they were, causing panic, paranoia and total loss of self-esteem. There was ABSOLUTELY no reason for me to have any suspicions at all. I just did.
So, to drown those thoughts, I turned to drink. Not a shot, not just one, but as much as I needed, whenever I needed it, to dull the self-caused pain. Once I returned back home to Panama, everything kind of eased back to normal. Months later, my wife had the opportunity to attend a military financial class, I believe , in Austin, also. Well, guess what? Yep, the demons came back, with an attitude. The only saving grace, this time, was the fact that I had sole responsibility of the boys, so I really couldn't stay wasted, could I? That showed me I had some sort of self-control (that is what I later told myself). But I couldn't shake the absolute fear and paranoia in my mind that I felt when I went to Austin and again when my wife made her visit. In fact, that fear and paranoia seemed to be making up for lost time. Thank God for my boys, and my duties there.
Now comes the big equalizer: retirement, with a lot of empty time while I went to college and my wife worked, in a management capacity of sorts that put her in contact with men on a daily basis, some of whom were my friends, also. Hell, we played softball together. But the fields those first little seeds of fear and paranoia had sown quickly became a full, ready-to-harvest crop. Slowly but surely, they captured me. I would drink like never before. The sun came up. Drink! The sun went down. Drink! The imagination can go wild when you are living in a 0.24 BAC world, 24/7. Somehow, I managed to function, going to class, taking the boys to practices and games, coaching them, and my wife and I, in baseball and softball. To this day, I do not know how I managed. I thought I was fooling everybody, but I was only fooling myself. The hammer dropped when I was asked to move out. I did, and I blamed everybody. Instead of realizing the problem, I denied it. The big, nasty "D" word. Instead of fighting for my marriage and my boys, I left them, right there on the stoop of our house in Abilene, Texas. Gave up on my studies, gave up on my boys and gave up on myself. All in 3 short years. Didn't even put up a fight and moved to California. I quit. The bottle won.
In California, things only got worse. My Mom, as mothers are wont to do, enabled me and my Dad ignored it. My brother and sister just dealt with it in their own way. I, on the other hand, blissfully carried on, knowing but ignoring or not caring. I'm not sure which. I'm not sure it mattered. Again, any excuse to hoist one. Close calls followed, time and again. But no trouble.The divorce became final, and my boys would visit every summer for 2 months, and we would have a grand time. They would watch TV, go see grandma and grandpa, go downstairs to visit my future wife, Nickie. And I would.........drink. Yep, only saw my boys 10% of the year, and I drank. Hell, I would take them to the movies at the Century 5 because the Sail Inn bar was next door, and when the movie was over they would come and get me. Again, I was fooling only myself when I thought they didn't know. My boys aren't stupid, but their old man was.
During this time, I somehow managed to squeeze 3 major back surgeries into my life. How I managed to rehabilitate from surgeries in a drunken stupor, I have no clue. But I did. I know I was crying out for help, but it was a silent plea. I would get so defensive and angry no one wanted to speak out. I don't blame them. I would not want to risk that kind of wrath, either. I wasn't violent, but my words could slice nasty gashes. I was a pro.
I don't know why it happened. Maybe it was the 2 visits to the ER in a 2 week period that woke me up. But one day I decided I wanted to stop drinking, with wanted being the key word here. April 15th, 2009. What followed was just a complete wave of support from every single person I knew. My wife, Nickie. My Mom and Dad, who never gave up. My brother and sister, nieces and nephews, who finally saw the real Norman, and actually have a conversation with him. You may find this ironic, but among my biggest supporters were my firends at the bar. Seriously. They knew what I was attempting, and they helped. No pressure to drink, no pressure not to drink.
I have had plenty of excuses to pile on a huge hammertime. The suicide of a close friend. My son's first and second deployments to Iraq. His close call with a roadside bomb. My birthday. My wife's burthday. Anniversary. Holidays. The sun came up. The sun went down. I have, to this point, resisted those excuses. I have the utmost confidence in my ability to continue on the path I have chosen, and I feel I have regained control of my life. I can do something as simple as a crossword puzzle. I can remember things easily, most times. I can have a conversation.
Don't let me get you into thinking I'm grown up and healed now. Far from it. Each and every day is a fight, and I face it head on. I'm winning, but I cannot afford to let my guard down, for even a minute. I know, from my nightmares, that those demons are just waiting for an opening, any opening, to pounce, and they are pissed. I draw strength from my wife, my family and my friends. I am proud of what I have done so far, and they are proud of me. That, my friend, is real motivation. I can't heal the things I have hurt in the past, but I can move forward with the self-confidence and knowledge that I won't cause that pain again. To all those who have been part of my recovery, thank you so much. For all of you that have been hurt by my actions in any way, I am profoundly sorry. And for all of you who took the time to read through this, thank you for your patience. I have acknowledged the enemy, but the battle remains, as it will forever.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Lesson Given: Was Momma Right?
This morning, I was watching a brief interview on Fox News regarding Ms. Diane Lyons and her six-year old daughter, who had been caught shoplifting for the second time. Unimpressed by the inactions of the store manager during the first incident, she took what some may seem as a drastic step: She called the cops. On her daughter. I will not present an opinion on her decision. That is nobody's business but hers, and her family. However, I would like to relate my own personal experience to my readers.
In 1994, my family and I were stationed on Howard Air Force Base, Panama. My wife and I had three sons, and at some point it came to my attention that my oldest son had stolen an adult magazine from the military version of a convienence store. After some time verifying the story, I confronted my son, and he shortly 'fessed up his transgression. As a Security Flight Chief at the time, I was kind of torn. Sworn to uphold the law, and now I have a child breaking it. So, I called a law enforcement patrol to the house, and we placed my son in the patrol vehicle (no handcuffs), and his friends and our neighbors were witness to the whole scene. This was not intened as humiliation. It was simply a case of breaking the law and the consequences.
I followed the officer and my son to the store and we contacted the manager. I initially wanted my son to perform some type of labors to right his wrong. However, under store policies, no one except store employees are allowed to perform duties there. I could understand that, but I was still puzzled as to how to have my son realize his actions and the wrongness of them. At the time, the 24th Security Police Squadronn had a horse patrol and accompanying stables. So, the light just about gleamed in my head.
First, I contacted my friend, the Chief of SPS Horse Patrol, and we devised a plan that we could take to the squadron commander. Once the plan was ready for submission to the commander, we went to him, and he was very enthusiastic. The plan called for my son to report to the stables for one hour each day, after school, to help mainatin the stables. This would include cleaning the stables, filling food troughs, and anything else Sgt Reynolds required, keeping in mind that he was a 12 year old boy.
Some of you may find this a cruel for a boy that age, but I'm telling you, he became a man during those two weeks. He kept up his studies, and eventually asked to be allowed to return on weekends, after the punishment period was complete, to take care of "his horses". My son learned the value of right versus wrong, but more importantly, he learned that taking care of others that depend on you was a responsibility he embraced. He learned to groom, maintain proper dietary requirements and even the importance of the daily walks that the horses required to remain fit and healthy. He insisted that his mom, dad, and brothers visit "his horses" as often as possible. The transformation was remarkable. He grew up. We always had to bring carrots, apples, etc., for his team. It was wonderful to see. His brothers also saw the value in the exercise, and took on a better understanding of what responsibility as a citizen entails.
By no means is this an example of "perfect parenting". Thre is no such thing. Each parent must react to a child's transgressions as they see fit. I merely wanted to share this story with you. Sometimes, alternate punishment is warranted, and in my case it was effective. You guys go on about your parenting as you see fit; it is not my business, and it is not right, nor will I, ever question a parent's techniques. I just wanted to share a story.
In 1994, my family and I were stationed on Howard Air Force Base, Panama. My wife and I had three sons, and at some point it came to my attention that my oldest son had stolen an adult magazine from the military version of a convienence store. After some time verifying the story, I confronted my son, and he shortly 'fessed up his transgression. As a Security Flight Chief at the time, I was kind of torn. Sworn to uphold the law, and now I have a child breaking it. So, I called a law enforcement patrol to the house, and we placed my son in the patrol vehicle (no handcuffs), and his friends and our neighbors were witness to the whole scene. This was not intened as humiliation. It was simply a case of breaking the law and the consequences.
I followed the officer and my son to the store and we contacted the manager. I initially wanted my son to perform some type of labors to right his wrong. However, under store policies, no one except store employees are allowed to perform duties there. I could understand that, but I was still puzzled as to how to have my son realize his actions and the wrongness of them. At the time, the 24th Security Police Squadronn had a horse patrol and accompanying stables. So, the light just about gleamed in my head.
First, I contacted my friend, the Chief of SPS Horse Patrol, and we devised a plan that we could take to the squadron commander. Once the plan was ready for submission to the commander, we went to him, and he was very enthusiastic. The plan called for my son to report to the stables for one hour each day, after school, to help mainatin the stables. This would include cleaning the stables, filling food troughs, and anything else Sgt Reynolds required, keeping in mind that he was a 12 year old boy.
Some of you may find this a cruel for a boy that age, but I'm telling you, he became a man during those two weeks. He kept up his studies, and eventually asked to be allowed to return on weekends, after the punishment period was complete, to take care of "his horses". My son learned the value of right versus wrong, but more importantly, he learned that taking care of others that depend on you was a responsibility he embraced. He learned to groom, maintain proper dietary requirements and even the importance of the daily walks that the horses required to remain fit and healthy. He insisted that his mom, dad, and brothers visit "his horses" as often as possible. The transformation was remarkable. He grew up. We always had to bring carrots, apples, etc., for his team. It was wonderful to see. His brothers also saw the value in the exercise, and took on a better understanding of what responsibility as a citizen entails.
By no means is this an example of "perfect parenting". Thre is no such thing. Each parent must react to a child's transgressions as they see fit. I merely wanted to share this story with you. Sometimes, alternate punishment is warranted, and in my case it was effective. You guys go on about your parenting as you see fit; it is not my business, and it is not right, nor will I, ever question a parent's techniques. I just wanted to share a story.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
FOR SALE!!! My Vote in the Senate!!
Senator Henry Reid (D-Nv). Senator Mary Landrieux (D-La). And especially Senator Ben Nelson, D-Nebraska. It seems to me that those three (at least) Senators have forgotten the old sports cliche 'there's no "I" in team'. They each, in their own way, have sold out the American public for the sake of their own citizens during the health care debate. While following this debate, I would have thought that a Senator(s) would have sold out to the insurance lobby. How far off-base was that assumption? Well, that may never be known. However, the aforementioned Senator's have done the incredible: They have managed to get sweetheart deals for their constituents, all 1 million (give or take) of them, at the expense of the remaining 99% of the American public. But I would just love to focus on Nelson, and the party that has actually allowed this to happen.
Under the current health care reform (HCR) bill awaiting final voting, the citizens of Nebraska, which consists of Omaha, Lincoln and the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and some cornhuskers, are to receive free Medicare for life in exchange for Nelson's signature on the dotted line. Nelson was the final obstacle to passage of the HCR, and he knew it. He was aware that he could have anything he wanted, so, why not ask for it?
Two major issues I have are these. First, even knowing the power that he had in his pen and the "Yea" he had in his voice, how could Nelson contemplate screwing the rest of the country with a clear conscience? Trust me, I do understand an elected official taking up the fight for their constituents. After all, they voted him in, and they expect something in return. But I'm sure even Nebraskans have taken a step back and say WHAT? Senator Nelson's main goal should be action for the betterment of the entire country, not his tiny place in the real world.
Second, and most alarming, is how in the hell could the rest of the Democratic Party allow this to happen? I'm sure this a behind-closed-doors decision with Reid. Why is the rest of the Democratic Party suddenly playing Helen Keller (no disrepsect intended) on this? Well, Landrieux got her modern-day 'Louisiana Purchase' for her vote, so she has no desire or need to speak out, no matter how this is so wrong. Where are my Senators from California? Oh yeah, Feinstein and Boxer are in the back pocket of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. How does that work? Fifty eight Democratic Senators in Washington, D.C., and TWO of them run this country. I got it. And in my sweet little world of wishful thinking, I thought that the President of the United States would have at least taken a stand against his party's failings. Silly me, and my stocking is full, too.
This situation is so morally and ethically wrong on so many levels it is hard to contemplate. I am not trying to denegrate the citizens of Nebraska. My maternal extended family is from Nebraska (Beatrice/Wymore). In fact, Governor David Heineman (R) has come out forcefully against Nelson's actions, speaking for his citizens in oppostion of these issues. Gov. Heineman has gone on record as saying that Nebraskans are not supportive of Nelson's behavior. So who, exactly, is Nelson trying to represent? It says here that Nelson has put the "I" in team, and I know that the public education system in Nebraska teaches students how to spell better than that. Thanks for listening and your support and input. See ya'll after the Christmas break. A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all. Fight on!
Under the current health care reform (HCR) bill awaiting final voting, the citizens of Nebraska, which consists of Omaha, Lincoln and the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and some cornhuskers, are to receive free Medicare for life in exchange for Nelson's signature on the dotted line. Nelson was the final obstacle to passage of the HCR, and he knew it. He was aware that he could have anything he wanted, so, why not ask for it?
Two major issues I have are these. First, even knowing the power that he had in his pen and the "Yea" he had in his voice, how could Nelson contemplate screwing the rest of the country with a clear conscience? Trust me, I do understand an elected official taking up the fight for their constituents. After all, they voted him in, and they expect something in return. But I'm sure even Nebraskans have taken a step back and say WHAT? Senator Nelson's main goal should be action for the betterment of the entire country, not his tiny place in the real world.
Second, and most alarming, is how in the hell could the rest of the Democratic Party allow this to happen? I'm sure this a behind-closed-doors decision with Reid. Why is the rest of the Democratic Party suddenly playing Helen Keller (no disrepsect intended) on this? Well, Landrieux got her modern-day 'Louisiana Purchase' for her vote, so she has no desire or need to speak out, no matter how this is so wrong. Where are my Senators from California? Oh yeah, Feinstein and Boxer are in the back pocket of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. How does that work? Fifty eight Democratic Senators in Washington, D.C., and TWO of them run this country. I got it. And in my sweet little world of wishful thinking, I thought that the President of the United States would have at least taken a stand against his party's failings. Silly me, and my stocking is full, too.
This situation is so morally and ethically wrong on so many levels it is hard to contemplate. I am not trying to denegrate the citizens of Nebraska. My maternal extended family is from Nebraska (Beatrice/Wymore). In fact, Governor David Heineman (R) has come out forcefully against Nelson's actions, speaking for his citizens in oppostion of these issues. Gov. Heineman has gone on record as saying that Nebraskans are not supportive of Nelson's behavior. So who, exactly, is Nelson trying to represent? It says here that Nelson has put the "I" in team, and I know that the public education system in Nebraska teaches students how to spell better than that. Thanks for listening and your support and input. See ya'll after the Christmas break. A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all. Fight on!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Blinders Uniform of Choice in Richmond
The West Contra Costa School District (Richmond, Ca.) must issue blinders to their officials. In the last month, two reported acts of sexual violence have occured on the grounds of two district schools, Portola Middle School and Richmond High School. At RHS, a young teenage female fell prey to an alleged gang rape, after leaving her school's Homecoming Dance. And at Portola, a 12 year old was a victim of a rape by a 14 year old boy, on campus during school hours. What makes these vicious crime even more appalling are the statements from officials involved at the district. At Portola, two campus supervisors made statements that seem to be in support of the suspect. One, Marquita Dones, asks "If she was being raped, why didn't she scream?" What? Maybe if she was doing her job properly, she just might have heard a scream. The other, Mustapha Cannon, publicly doubted the sex was NOT consensual. "I know for a fact that that girl could've knocked that boy out with one hand tied behind her back" was Cannon's lame excuse for not doing his job. They didn't provide adequate (I believe it's in the job description) safety to the grounds, but, let me see, she was at fault. Are you freaking kidding me?
I spent a few years as campus supervisor at Las Lomas High School in Walnut Creek, Ca. That was quite likely the most intriguing job I have ever held. You must first get know to the kids, each and every one. Make yourself visible and allow the kids to have access to you, at any time, for any reason. Earn their trust. It's amazing what young adults will tell you if they trust you. It is painfully apparent that the two aforementioned campus supervisors do not possess any skills for this highly visible position. And visibility is the key here. You must, at all times, show your face and take an interest in the students and there needs and concerns. Teenagers have a myriad of problems, especially in a school setting, stemming from problems at home to problems on campus.
You gotta listen, people. Believe it or not, they will look to you for help. You just have to care about your charges more than your paycheck. Dones and Cannon have no business supervising children, let alone a head of lettuce.They should be summarily fired, NOW, and, if I had a say, charged with a crime. I know it's not a crime to be stupid and unsympathetic. However, you could make a case for dereliction of duty, creating an unsafe have for children, or child endangerment. Get'em off the grounds and make a permanent red mark that says 'unsuitable in the presence of children'. And, wait, it gets better. Going back to the gang rape at Richmond High School, district spokesman Marin Trujillo did not discipline the Principal or Vice-Principal, but he placed on administrative leave the folks holding those positions at Portola for not doing their jobs. Again, WHAT?
Trujillo, facing questions about these incidents and others violence throughout the district, including fights at Pinole Valley High and DeAnza High, in which a total of 14 people were arrested said, to paraphrase, "There appears to be no connection between the incidents......." and "It would be erroneous to assume that having several violent incidents in the district reflects something, because these things are not connected".
Trujillo needs to reconnect with reason and sanity, and find a lucid thought wherever he can. Some school districts, especially in a tough area like Richmond, are run like the inmates that run the California DOC. If a student at Richmond wants a student at DeAnza "got", that student will "get got". That is called "pecking order", and Mr Trujillo is at the very bottom. When, and if, those two campus supervisors get terminated, Mr Trujillo should be afforded the opportunity to share his termination with them. He has no business playing "three blind mice" with the safety of the district's students.
My first guess would be that Trujillo is the person responsible for hiring these two knuckleheads in the first place. He does state that the district does not believe "they were speaking for us". So? The damage is done
Two young girls are not being supported by the three principals (Trujillo, Dones and Connor) in this scandal. How long do we have to wait before we hear about another "unconnected" incident. If the district has any integrity at all, three muzzles and three termination paychecks should be hand-delivered forewith. I volunteer.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
INTEGRITY: Is it Important?
When I first started my postings, I stated to all that this site would be reserved for any and all opinions, irregardless of my views on the subject. I encouraged any prospective viewers, followers and subscribers to make comments, make an argument for or against my stance and we would all be able to have a nice narrative place to view, vent and share with other like-minded folks. Nothing fancy, just interacting in a civil forum. I also asked viewers to send in requests for topics they would like me to discuss. All was right in Norman's world.
Today, I had a request from an individual for my thoughts on a particular subject. After some thought, I responded to that request positively, because I thought I could make it interesting and thoughtful, provoking a good,equal sharing of views. Though I was taking a chance that it could be volatile, I was confident that my words would be viewed as fair and not an assasination on any particular individual. I was wrong.
So, after initially approving the subject matter, I have reversed my decision and informed the individual that I would in fact not run a piece on the request, and I have rested easy since in the belief that I have not stooped to censorship.
I did some investigating. The conclusion I came to after the evaluation scared me. I was convinced that this individual wanted to use this material to further a personal vendetta or agenda. I pride myself on using this site as simple communications between several interested parties, on either side of the sprectum. I'm not here to write something, then have any individual print it and go storming off and wave it in their adversaries face shouting "See, Norman said so, it's right here!" (I'm not trying to toot my own horn here). I'm not here to settle disputes or prove someone is right or wrong. I love to write about interesting items that are important to a semi-large cut of the browsers. I do not care if anybody reads this (though I know my family will, so they say). I'm having fun, and that is what matters to me.
So, to be clear: I am not here to settle, monitor or choose a victor on any personal tiffs between other people. What I write is a loose interpretation of facts previously reported,, and put my own personal spin on them, and allow others to put their spin on. Or maybe just some good ol' fun and heartwarming story I've heard or experienced .If you're looking for someone to fight your battles, their had better be a damn good reason, and send me factual information to work with. I'm not a vigilante trying to validate a spat, nor am I a headhunter. If that is what you want, go find somebody who is "fair and balanced". Good day, folks, and continue to tune in. Thank you.
Today, I had a request from an individual for my thoughts on a particular subject. After some thought, I responded to that request positively, because I thought I could make it interesting and thoughtful, provoking a good,equal sharing of views. Though I was taking a chance that it could be volatile, I was confident that my words would be viewed as fair and not an assasination on any particular individual. I was wrong.
So, after initially approving the subject matter, I have reversed my decision and informed the individual that I would in fact not run a piece on the request, and I have rested easy since in the belief that I have not stooped to censorship.
I did some investigating. The conclusion I came to after the evaluation scared me. I was convinced that this individual wanted to use this material to further a personal vendetta or agenda. I pride myself on using this site as simple communications between several interested parties, on either side of the sprectum. I'm not here to write something, then have any individual print it and go storming off and wave it in their adversaries face shouting "See, Norman said so, it's right here!" (I'm not trying to toot my own horn here). I'm not here to settle disputes or prove someone is right or wrong. I love to write about interesting items that are important to a semi-large cut of the browsers. I do not care if anybody reads this (though I know my family will, so they say). I'm having fun, and that is what matters to me.
So, to be clear: I am not here to settle, monitor or choose a victor on any personal tiffs between other people. What I write is a loose interpretation of facts previously reported,, and put my own personal spin on them, and allow others to put their spin on. Or maybe just some good ol' fun and heartwarming story I've heard or experienced .If you're looking for someone to fight your battles, their had better be a damn good reason, and send me factual information to work with. I'm not a vigilante trying to validate a spat, nor am I a headhunter. If that is what you want, go find somebody who is "fair and balanced". Good day, folks, and continue to tune in. Thank you.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
A Tiger Re-do
A few days ago I posted my thoughts regarding Tiger Woods and his moral failings. Since that posting, and reviewing the comments posted, I believe my reaction was a typical "knee-jerk" belief. So, I have had time to reevaluate my thoughts, and here is my conclusion. Though the comments you folks posted were both pro and con, they brought to my attention some significant slights I felt.
I am not backing down on my stance on Woods' behavior or the harm he has done to his family or public persona. He was wrong, and will forever be wrong. This issue may or may not derail his professional career. I don't make those determinations. I am, however, delighted by his decision to set aside his professional ambitions to deal with the infinitely more important task at hand. Tiger has decided to face his demons, and I wish him well.
A few of you commented on the fact that it his private life, and should remain that way. For me, there is no clear-cut dividing line between private and public disclosure if you are a high profile figure. What right trumps the other right in this situation? I don't pretend to know, and I don't really think anybody really knows. It's a sad and shameful position we put ourselves in when all our attention is focused on another's private life, when the majority of American citizens have there own personal problems. Is it a phenomena based on the culture that my own issues aren't to be addressed now that Tiger Woods got himself into a whole heap of trouble? How wrong is that?
I'm still torn about what, if anything, is private in the personal life of a politician, celebrity, or athlete. I actually made a hyprocite out of myself initially because I am still a huge fan of Barry Bonds. I stand behind him still, because, in my own narrow view, "nothing has been proven", though I would probably vote "guilty" in his case. So, I was wrong about not giving Tiger the same chance. Tiger, at least, came clean, though it did take some time.
So, while I am not admitting that my original posting was wrong, it could have been presented in a different way. I sincerely appreciate all the feedback I received. It made me take a harder look at from where my opinion was based. Keep the comments coming. Thank you. Oh, and to Mr. Woods, I apologize for using the word "bastard" in reference to you. It was inappropriate.
I am not backing down on my stance on Woods' behavior or the harm he has done to his family or public persona. He was wrong, and will forever be wrong. This issue may or may not derail his professional career. I don't make those determinations. I am, however, delighted by his decision to set aside his professional ambitions to deal with the infinitely more important task at hand. Tiger has decided to face his demons, and I wish him well.
A few of you commented on the fact that it his private life, and should remain that way. For me, there is no clear-cut dividing line between private and public disclosure if you are a high profile figure. What right trumps the other right in this situation? I don't pretend to know, and I don't really think anybody really knows. It's a sad and shameful position we put ourselves in when all our attention is focused on another's private life, when the majority of American citizens have there own personal problems. Is it a phenomena based on the culture that my own issues aren't to be addressed now that Tiger Woods got himself into a whole heap of trouble? How wrong is that?
I'm still torn about what, if anything, is private in the personal life of a politician, celebrity, or athlete. I actually made a hyprocite out of myself initially because I am still a huge fan of Barry Bonds. I stand behind him still, because, in my own narrow view, "nothing has been proven", though I would probably vote "guilty" in his case. So, I was wrong about not giving Tiger the same chance. Tiger, at least, came clean, though it did take some time.
So, while I am not admitting that my original posting was wrong, it could have been presented in a different way. I sincerely appreciate all the feedback I received. It made me take a harder look at from where my opinion was based. Keep the comments coming. Thank you. Oh, and to Mr. Woods, I apologize for using the word "bastard" in reference to you. It was inappropriate.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Tigers, Not Sugarplums, Dancing in my Head
Tiger Woods embodied all that was good about sporting competition. I never watched golf until Woods romped through Augusta for his first major. I noticed golf in the sports section on Monday mornings, after looking at the point spreads. From that point forward, I was a golf junkie. No, that's not quite right. I was, as so many others, a Tiger-junkie. I would watch the first round, to see how far he would have to rally. The second and third rounds were used for updates. Sundays, if Tiger was within ten shots off the pace, it became a thrill-seeking ride as he caught, passed and firmly stomped all his competitors into the final fairway. Then, of course, another trophy presention. All was right in the world.
Now, golf has no appeal, none whatsoever. Tiger has taken that away, forever. Even if he returns, which I am sure he will, I cannot follow and cheer for a man that has commited the ultimate betrayal. I am not self-righteous by any means. But the man had it all. What else could he possibly want or need? Well, now we all know, and it just ain't right.
I had known only one hero in my life, and that was my Father. Suddenly, at age 35, I would ignore my Dad's call to watch a man putt from 45 curving, swerving, dipping and dropping feet, knowing it was going in, whether he needed to make it or not. That was my personal vision of Tiger-mania.
How did this cheating, lying bastard become my hero? I do not have the slightest clue, but I do know that I'm sick of the thought that he replaced Dad under "hero-worship". Sorry, Dad.
Mr. Woods will return to his passion, once he figures out what, or who, it may be. I don't care. I will not support him on any grounds. I wish my best so that he and his spouse can repair a great wound. That is what I hope that Tiger uses his Sunday Red concentration on. 110%, it must be about repairing what he has broken.
All the facts may not have come out yet, for sure. But from what has been disclosed so far, this is the only conclusion I can come to: Tiger will not get my support, with one notable exception: He must at some point come clean with his family, first and foremost. Then he must regain that sacred trust he shredded from his wife. If he mans up to that, and she accepts and forgives his transgressions, that is her business, and I wish them all the luck in the world. But Tiger Woods will never, ever get another cheer of support from me that alludes to his golfing prowess. He will, however, get a standing ovation in this corner if he owns up to all the wrong he has done to his family. Elin, I wish you and your husband the best of luck.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Holiday Thoughts and Wishes
The 2009 holiday season started off on a down turn for me. It began a week or so before Thanksgiving. My son was in Iraq, my nephew in Antartica, and my oldest niece in Alaska, and the rest of my family in Texas. Only an assist from Santa would allow me to able to see anyone, and he stopped answering my letters a long time ago. Suddenly, the Thanksgiving season, and the whole holiday spirit season, turned for the better. My wife and I had been invited to her son, Josh and daughter-in-law Kristin's house, with their 5 month old daughter, Addison, Kristin's family, and Nickie's two daughters and their spouses.The miracle started with a BANG I didn't expect. My youngest son, Travis, called me right away Thanksgiving morning, followed by a call I had been desperately waiting for, from Steven in Iraq. Well, I thought, this day isn't going too bad. Only in my dreams could I imagine the day getting better. (I had forgotten the Raiders played on national TV that day).
Nickie and I were among the first to arrive at the aforementioned Thanksgiving dinner. Josh was a gracious host, always checking on us, and on everybody who arrived after. He took care of their daughter, Addison, the whole time while Kristin and Jessie (Nick's youngest daughter) finished preparation of the feast. He fussed, fiddled and attended to every one's comfort. In my measure, hosting your first major holiday family bash, in your own home, is a good measure of a man. Josh Salusbury showed me a man that day. My earlier worries about not having any family? Wiped out the moment I walked onto the front stoop and into the house. Good, confident and refreshing conversation for all. It seemed like all in attendance sensed my despondence about being so far away from my family. To Kristin's family (of whom I had only met her Mother and Father once), her aunts and uncles, cousins and nephews/nieces, and grandparents, I deliver an extremely grateful THANK YOU! You all made me feel as if I was among family and my other stressors were to put ease. Addison was the hit of the party, as young tots are wont to do, and even the family dog, Harry, licked my hand (though that was after I had turkey drippings all over my hands and fingers; it;s okay Harry, I know you meant it. Josh and Kristin, I felt at home and with family. Thank you so very much.
Christmas is going to be a little different, but similar. It's going to be quiet, just visiting friends in the local area, friends whom both my wife and I have been able to rely on throughtout 2009. At that time, we will offer our personal thanks. Now, on to my Christmas wishes.
Steven, remain safe where you are. Enjoyed continued excellence and advancement in your chosen career. You have the power, my son, to become a force in your military profession. Travis I wish for you growth, learning and a growing maturity. It;s tough out there, Trav, but you will make it. Keep your head up and move forward with both barrels fiiring. Darin, find what you want and go get. It's there, son. You just have to go and take it. Nobody's going to give it to you. My brother Jim; What can I say? You have helped me in so many ways. Stay on track with your studies and your writing. You have both the intelligence, and more importantly, the desire too be successful. Take it and run. My sister Becky and her family; Little Sis, Stay on the path you chose oh so many years ago. I can see how excited you are about it, all these years later. It's hard to juggle family, career and church, but Bec, you are an amazing woman. Kelli, make that leap from little girl to womanhood. Keep up the effort, Kelli-Belli. You are a lovely young lady. Diana, Chuck needs your support throughtout his career. It takes a tough, loving woman to go through a military career with unquestioned love and support for her man. Di, Chuck is a good man, even though he's Army, but I salute him for his service to our country. Hug Lauren tight for me.(Hey, I got an idea. How about a picture. You know, those little things with color that only take a 44cent stamp to send to your uncle?) I miss you guys. Scott; You are an adventurous sort, and you have all the qualities it takes, passion, curiosity and a willingness to learn. Scott, continue your growth. Mom and Dad; What can I say? You have given me love, encouragement, and hope for 48 years, though I swear I'm 38. You have loved each other for almost fifty years. Just freaking amazing, and oh so rare these days. Dad, do what you must to get your health in order. I don't care if it hurts. Mom, watch Dad. Don't let him wander. And to you both, I very much enjoy the rare visits, but when they do come I feel like I'm home again. Thank you for all your support and guidance, and for never giving up on me.
Josh and Kristin; Take care of that baby. Addie is a sweetheart. I can tell she has been blessed with both attentive and loving parents. Those are the two most vital assets your daughter can grow up being around. Harry, Merry Doggie Christmas. Joe and Jenny; I wish for your love and happiness to grow. It has taken hold, now it must flourish. Joe, music for you. You have great talent. Jenny, may you get the opportunity to use your teaching and educational skills for the good. I know teachers, Jenny. This country sorely lacks the type of committed educator that you are, and there is an extremely short list of teachers who KNOW how to teach, and you are an asset. Jenny, press the issue. Tood and Jessie; The new year brings an extra gift for your family, and added pressures. Take your cue and make your child welcome into this world. I am confident that he/she will be a well loved child, and well learned. You two have your own unique gifts to pass on and teach to your child. I envy that child's growth. Monte, Merry Doggie Christmas to you.
Finally, to all my friends: Jen, Shelley, Tomi, Ila, Amber, Alex and Cliff, Everyday Bill and the rest of you who are a part of my life, thank you. You were there when I needed you. I will always be there for you, as you were for me and Nickie. I hope you won't need my help, but the offer is irreversible and everlasting. Jen, you hug Abbie for me. Shelley, hug Bruce and Cocoa. Tomi, track down your kids by who you can catch first, and then hugs from me. Ila, you get beautiful Tara. Amber, all the girls and Dominic get hugs. Alex, hug Cliff. Cliff, you just hug whoever you feel like.
To everybody involved in my life, and to those who aren't, may we all ring 2010 with, friends, family and strangers. Helping one person, no matter the case or circumstances, is the best gift you can give yourself. Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!
Norman B. Poppell
Nickie and I were among the first to arrive at the aforementioned Thanksgiving dinner. Josh was a gracious host, always checking on us, and on everybody who arrived after. He took care of their daughter, Addison, the whole time while Kristin and Jessie (Nick's youngest daughter) finished preparation of the feast. He fussed, fiddled and attended to every one's comfort. In my measure, hosting your first major holiday family bash, in your own home, is a good measure of a man. Josh Salusbury showed me a man that day. My earlier worries about not having any family? Wiped out the moment I walked onto the front stoop and into the house. Good, confident and refreshing conversation for all. It seemed like all in attendance sensed my despondence about being so far away from my family. To Kristin's family (of whom I had only met her Mother and Father once), her aunts and uncles, cousins and nephews/nieces, and grandparents, I deliver an extremely grateful THANK YOU! You all made me feel as if I was among family and my other stressors were to put ease. Addison was the hit of the party, as young tots are wont to do, and even the family dog, Harry, licked my hand (though that was after I had turkey drippings all over my hands and fingers; it;s okay Harry, I know you meant it. Josh and Kristin, I felt at home and with family. Thank you so very much.
Christmas is going to be a little different, but similar. It's going to be quiet, just visiting friends in the local area, friends whom both my wife and I have been able to rely on throughtout 2009. At that time, we will offer our personal thanks. Now, on to my Christmas wishes.
Steven, remain safe where you are. Enjoyed continued excellence and advancement in your chosen career. You have the power, my son, to become a force in your military profession. Travis I wish for you growth, learning and a growing maturity. It;s tough out there, Trav, but you will make it. Keep your head up and move forward with both barrels fiiring. Darin, find what you want and go get. It's there, son. You just have to go and take it. Nobody's going to give it to you. My brother Jim; What can I say? You have helped me in so many ways. Stay on track with your studies and your writing. You have both the intelligence, and more importantly, the desire too be successful. Take it and run. My sister Becky and her family; Little Sis, Stay on the path you chose oh so many years ago. I can see how excited you are about it, all these years later. It's hard to juggle family, career and church, but Bec, you are an amazing woman. Kelli, make that leap from little girl to womanhood. Keep up the effort, Kelli-Belli. You are a lovely young lady. Diana, Chuck needs your support throughtout his career. It takes a tough, loving woman to go through a military career with unquestioned love and support for her man. Di, Chuck is a good man, even though he's Army, but I salute him for his service to our country. Hug Lauren tight for me.(Hey, I got an idea. How about a picture. You know, those little things with color that only take a 44cent stamp to send to your uncle?) I miss you guys. Scott; You are an adventurous sort, and you have all the qualities it takes, passion, curiosity and a willingness to learn. Scott, continue your growth. Mom and Dad; What can I say? You have given me love, encouragement, and hope for 48 years, though I swear I'm 38. You have loved each other for almost fifty years. Just freaking amazing, and oh so rare these days. Dad, do what you must to get your health in order. I don't care if it hurts. Mom, watch Dad. Don't let him wander. And to you both, I very much enjoy the rare visits, but when they do come I feel like I'm home again. Thank you for all your support and guidance, and for never giving up on me.
Josh and Kristin; Take care of that baby. Addie is a sweetheart. I can tell she has been blessed with both attentive and loving parents. Those are the two most vital assets your daughter can grow up being around. Harry, Merry Doggie Christmas. Joe and Jenny; I wish for your love and happiness to grow. It has taken hold, now it must flourish. Joe, music for you. You have great talent. Jenny, may you get the opportunity to use your teaching and educational skills for the good. I know teachers, Jenny. This country sorely lacks the type of committed educator that you are, and there is an extremely short list of teachers who KNOW how to teach, and you are an asset. Jenny, press the issue. Tood and Jessie; The new year brings an extra gift for your family, and added pressures. Take your cue and make your child welcome into this world. I am confident that he/she will be a well loved child, and well learned. You two have your own unique gifts to pass on and teach to your child. I envy that child's growth. Monte, Merry Doggie Christmas to you.
Finally, to all my friends: Jen, Shelley, Tomi, Ila, Amber, Alex and Cliff, Everyday Bill and the rest of you who are a part of my life, thank you. You were there when I needed you. I will always be there for you, as you were for me and Nickie. I hope you won't need my help, but the offer is irreversible and everlasting. Jen, you hug Abbie for me. Shelley, hug Bruce and Cocoa. Tomi, track down your kids by who you can catch first, and then hugs from me. Ila, you get beautiful Tara. Amber, all the girls and Dominic get hugs. Alex, hug Cliff. Cliff, you just hug whoever you feel like.
To everybody involved in my life, and to those who aren't, may we all ring 2010 with, friends, family and strangers. Helping one person, no matter the case or circumstances, is the best gift you can give yourself. Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!
Norman B. Poppell
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Wishful Thinking, Silently Hoping..........
It seems, that after several long weeks and months, President Obama and Defense Secretary Gates are saying and doing the right things regarding our involvement in Afghanistan. I ruefully wonder, however, if in the future we have to look back and realize how hollow those words and actions were. I hope I am wrong about that, but the handling of the Afghan situation so far has been clumsy, to be nice.
The troops on the ground, from the top generals to their battle-hardened unit commanders, have a better working knowledge of what is needed. They are there, and know in intimate detail what it will take to achieve success. Gen. McChrystal, the top commander, asked for an additional 40,000 troops; however, he was undercut by Washington and all the experts away from the real fight. Give the "down and dirty" exprets what they desire, and then we may have a real chance for success. World War I and II were won with maximum resources made available.
Right now, in my opinion, our troops are slowly being bled to death by a half-hearted attempt at victory. While the current administration seems to be making the right moves, I don't feel they have gone far enough. The Taliban must be overwhelmed, completely and mercilessly, for any semblance of order to resume in Afghanistan. I believe the philosophy is backward: You cannot conduct a nation-building program in the midst of a war. You must first remove and destroy the existing threat, then a safe, calculated rebuilding effort can commence. Sure, corruption and backyard politics play a central role in the Afghan system. But you must first drive out the opposition.
I hope the commitment that the President has publicly announced is only the first part of a total effort to create peace and stability in the region. We all know that 'peace and stability' in that area is kind of asking Santa Claus for a shiny new bike. I just pray that the words and deeds put forth by the politicians result in solid, effective and decisive action. That would be my shiny new bike.
The troops on the ground, from the top generals to their battle-hardened unit commanders, have a better working knowledge of what is needed. They are there, and know in intimate detail what it will take to achieve success. Gen. McChrystal, the top commander, asked for an additional 40,000 troops; however, he was undercut by Washington and all the experts away from the real fight. Give the "down and dirty" exprets what they desire, and then we may have a real chance for success. World War I and II were won with maximum resources made available.
Right now, in my opinion, our troops are slowly being bled to death by a half-hearted attempt at victory. While the current administration seems to be making the right moves, I don't feel they have gone far enough. The Taliban must be overwhelmed, completely and mercilessly, for any semblance of order to resume in Afghanistan. I believe the philosophy is backward: You cannot conduct a nation-building program in the midst of a war. You must first remove and destroy the existing threat, then a safe, calculated rebuilding effort can commence. Sure, corruption and backyard politics play a central role in the Afghan system. But you must first drive out the opposition.
I hope the commitment that the President has publicly announced is only the first part of a total effort to create peace and stability in the region. We all know that 'peace and stability' in that area is kind of asking Santa Claus for a shiny new bike. I just pray that the words and deeds put forth by the politicians result in solid, effective and decisive action. That would be my shiny new bike.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Why do we always shoot ourselves in the foot?
WARNING!!! When I started this site, I stated that material submitted for publication would be edited to ensure no raw language or offensive material would be posted. With this piece, I had to put my own statement to the test. I hope you do not find it offensive in any manner.
I am appalled at the judgment (lack thereof) of this country's military leadership. This includes President Obama, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, the Secretary of the Navy, the Chairman, Joints of Staff and the Chief of Naval Operations. Four Navy Seals are being court-martialed for mistreating the mastermind of the murder, torture and hanging (from a bridge in Iraq) of the person(s) responsible for these crimes against private US security contractors. This decision closely follows on the heels of the illogical choice of trying Khalid Sheik Mohammed in a civilian court for an act of war that resulted in the 9/11 attacks. I have had the honor to be associated with some Navy Seals during my military career, and they are among the most honorable men you would ever want to meet. They were doing their job, an extremely dangerous one, in fact. So, the guy got a bloody lip. I know all about the Geneva Convention and international laws regarding such behavior. The GC was designed to protect enemy combatants in a declared war, not to protect hordes of cowardly terrorists that would kill and maim innocent civilians in a deliberate act of violence. That is what terrorists are, cowards. They are NOT enemy combatants. They are criminals, murderers, kidnappers and others of that ilk.
Terrorists deserve no special treatment or privileges. Was excessive force used? Just from what I have heard through the media, my answer would be an emphatetic NO! Speaking of the media, where is the outrage? Apparently, they have been attending the Democrat's School of Liberalism. Let the United States take a punch, and turn a blind eye. Screw the perception that we, as the leading world power, must set the example. I would prefer that we follow the example of the Israeli's. No mercy, methodical tracking and no "civil" guidelines to blind us to real justice.
These four Navy Seals are heroes to me, and I thank them and support them for their actions. If I could offer my humble opinion, they did not do enough. Obama wants to teach our school children. Good idea. Start by teaching them that the United States will not take any s*** from anybody. Allow our children to grow up learning pride in the place they have been given in the world. It must be kept safe, at any cost. We fought the Revolutionary War for our independence. This war is no different, and I hesitate to use the term 'war'. This terrorist problem is like having thugs, gansterts and drug dealers move into your neighborhood. Do you want them out, or are you going to mow the lawn for them?
I am appalled at the judgment (lack thereof) of this country's military leadership. This includes President Obama, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, the Secretary of the Navy, the Chairman, Joints of Staff and the Chief of Naval Operations. Four Navy Seals are being court-martialed for mistreating the mastermind of the murder, torture and hanging (from a bridge in Iraq) of the person(s) responsible for these crimes against private US security contractors. This decision closely follows on the heels of the illogical choice of trying Khalid Sheik Mohammed in a civilian court for an act of war that resulted in the 9/11 attacks. I have had the honor to be associated with some Navy Seals during my military career, and they are among the most honorable men you would ever want to meet. They were doing their job, an extremely dangerous one, in fact. So, the guy got a bloody lip. I know all about the Geneva Convention and international laws regarding such behavior. The GC was designed to protect enemy combatants in a declared war, not to protect hordes of cowardly terrorists that would kill and maim innocent civilians in a deliberate act of violence. That is what terrorists are, cowards. They are NOT enemy combatants. They are criminals, murderers, kidnappers and others of that ilk.
Terrorists deserve no special treatment or privileges. Was excessive force used? Just from what I have heard through the media, my answer would be an emphatetic NO! Speaking of the media, where is the outrage? Apparently, they have been attending the Democrat's School of Liberalism. Let the United States take a punch, and turn a blind eye. Screw the perception that we, as the leading world power, must set the example. I would prefer that we follow the example of the Israeli's. No mercy, methodical tracking and no "civil" guidelines to blind us to real justice.
These four Navy Seals are heroes to me, and I thank them and support them for their actions. If I could offer my humble opinion, they did not do enough. Obama wants to teach our school children. Good idea. Start by teaching them that the United States will not take any s*** from anybody. Allow our children to grow up learning pride in the place they have been given in the world. It must be kept safe, at any cost. We fought the Revolutionary War for our independence. This war is no different, and I hesitate to use the term 'war'. This terrorist problem is like having thugs, gansterts and drug dealers move into your neighborhood. Do you want them out, or are you going to mow the lawn for them?
Saturday, December 5, 2009
FOX News: Balanced or Biased?
I have been watching Fox News since its inception. To this day, it provides me with the the most up-to-date information happening on a global scale. I really enjoy all their morning anchors, especially Bill Hemmer and Megan Kelly, and those that replace them as needed. But, for me, Fox has gone beyond being "fair and balanced" with their daily dose of one-man shows. I love listening to Bill O'Reilly. He makes some very good points, and I am usually in agreement with his views. Glenn Beck is way to conservative for me, a moderate Republican. Others in this format I simply choose to ignore. My main complaint: These two, especially Mr O'Reilly, make their point, state their "facts", and then hammer their guests with a relentlessness that borders on denying them the right to free speech. Why invite someone onto your show, shove your thoughts down their throats, without giving them a mature and professional segment to air their views, then saying "we're out of time"? It smacks of denying journalistic liberty. If I have a certain viewpoint or statement to make, I reserve the right to equal access and time to explain and expound on those views. If you are going to run "out of time", hell, start earlier or share time equally. It is just plain offensive to hammer, badger and pound away at a differing opinion, and not allow appropriate time and space for a rebuttal. Fox News catches me in a time warp. Mr Hemmer and Ms Kelly, openly sharing differing stances on important issus affecting all facets of American society, then, BAM!` back to dark ages where freedom of speech is not a vital part of the fabric of society. Censorship is a strong word, but its use here is appropiate. Mr O'Reilly and Mr Beck, and the others like them, are attempting to strong-arm back to these cold, black, dark ages Please understand, guys: You do not have the only point of view, and you are not always right.
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Rivalry: Random Thoughts and Bad Attitudes
Is this still a rivalry? As a person that wears a shirt that says "I Bleed Silver and Black", the rivalry is still, at least emotionally, at the forefront of my NFL existence. Who can ever forget The Assassin throwing black-and-gold clad Steelers all over the turf? How about the Steel Curtain, stopping anything that dares to move forward? Those days may be in the past, but the glory of these matchups still rears its animosity-laded head. Sure, to the casual fan it might not be a rivalry, like Patriots-Colts, Cowboys-Giants or Bears-Packers. But if you put on your colors on Sunday, December 2009, this game is like the Super Bowl (for the Raiders) and for the Steelers fan, it is a chance to run the Raiders into the Pennsylvania turf. What can be better than that?! I know, the Immaculate Reception still resonates with a very sour taste in Raider Nation. We got screwed, but now let's get over it, and derail the Steelers playoff drive. This is OUR Super Bowl, and we damn well better win it!
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